Oh, Pleeeeeea!

 a rant




Mike McDermott: "...and please don't splash the pot."
Teddy KGB:  "... in my club I vill splash de pwot venever de fahk I pliz."

When will it be possible anymore to have a conversation or a heated debate about anything important if:

a) we must constantly start any discussion by reassuring our interlocutor we're aware of ethical, legal, moral, and politically correct considerations, therefore ensuring s/he knows we're not Hitler, or any of the "lesser" dictators; 

b) we must present as many easily verifiable facts as possible;

c) we must not make the conversation personal in any way;

d) we must not have any emotional reaction to a topic/point;

e) we must 'let go' as soon as it becomes apparent that "it is making ppl uncomfortable"

When did it become a faux-pas to make a point? to be passionate about it? to have convictions?  When did ppl start behaving as though they're on MSNBBCNN?  Why this endless need for consensus, for blandness?  What is wrong with a hint of chili in chocolate?   Are mashed potatoes always preferable to something that needs chewing?  Babies like mushy peas.  But that's because they haven't got teeth yet.  As soon as toddlers get teeth, they want crunchy things, hard candy.  Picture tigers only having smoothies.

Then ppl complain they're bored.  Well, of course they are.  Fascinating though an earthquake or a volcano eruption might be, there is only so much that can be said about these natural phenomena, unless they're turned into a metaphor in a bigger, more cunning, more difficult, stupendous, mega-fascinating, point.  Or a joke.  Or a euphemism.  You get where I'm going with this.

So you make the points you find need making (all these tiny points, screaming in your head, saying 'pick me! pick me!' - like 6yo orphans no one wants, desperate for attention, yearning for warm arms to embrace them and make them feel they matter-) only to be told 'oh but you see, we can't run the risk these ideas will take over because the moral consensus has always been that..---' and on.  As if it'd be okay if the conversation would only happen between you two, but it can't be discussed with others, lest ppl who aren't v mature or intellectually prepared for these ideas should be exposed to them. All very hushush.  "Oh I know John, you and I know this, but imagine if ppl like Gareth put their hands on it; we'll all be doomed."  Yah? Guess what, that's not the case. Ppl like Gareth can also hear about it, because ideas aren't the boogey man.

Picture someone saying that to Robespierre or George Washington or Nelson Mandela?  'Sorry, Nelson, we just can't have you saying these things; they're dangerous and plus which ppl might adopt these ideas and then what?'  Gandhi?  'Oh Mr. Mahatma, do stop sulking and have a bite out of this er plate of mushy peas.  Here's the salt.'

Then the skies open up and suddenly the sun shines on your face and obliterates even the most moronic and boring, relentless droplet of drizzle, the climatic equivalent of a whine. 

Every now and then someone will say something that makes you feel alive, because you couldn't agree or disagree more. The important thing is that it stirs a strong response in you, even if it is short-lived.  Isn't that a wonderful moment?  Isn't that why we live?  OK, one of the reasons why we live.  Otherwise, it'd be a situation where "I may not agree with what you think but I'll die to defend your right to say bluebells bloom in spring."  

This is probably why I find TV is so pernicious; it ends up BPermeating our unconscious mind and downloading onto our hardrive reactions which aren't normally ours, a kind of corporate takeover of the mind, much like these multinationals make every single city in the world look the same, so that you can be in Buenos Aires or New Delhi and buy the exact same products from the same shops with the same automatons who mistake bad taste for subversion.  

Now we can also talk to ppl from all over the world, of all ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, and education, and be almost sure they'll tell us exactly what we'll hear if we turn the tele on.  

Well, to this, I say an overweight NO. ¡No pasarán!

I prefer the slightly insane but thinking person to the reasonable consensual parrot, telling me how smoking will give me cancer, and betacarotene is good for tanning, and how donkey rides on Greek islands are giga-chic.