Cotidiano de uma brasileira em Paris, comentarios sobre cultura, politica e besteiras em geral. Entre le faible et le fort c'est la liberté qui opprime et la loi qui libère." Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Friday, January 21, 2011

Absurdity:
Making life more fun since time immemorial
(with serious contributions by Luìs Fernando Verìssimo, whose short I translated below)

O Motel

Mirtes não se agüentou e contou para a Lurdes:
- Viram teu marido entrando num motel.
A Lurdes abriu a boca e arregalou os olhos..
Ficou assim, uma estátua de espanto, durante um minuto, um minuto e meio.
Depois pediu detalhes.
- Quando? Onde? Com quem?
- Ontem. No Discretíssimu's.
- Com quem? Com quem?
- Isso eu não sei.
- Mas como? Era alta? Magra? Loira? Puxava de uma perna?
- Não sei, Lu.
- Carlos Alberto me paga. Ah, me paga.
Quando o Carlos Alberto chegou em casa a Lurdes anunciou que iria deixá-lo e
contou por quê.
- Mas que história é essa, Lurdes?
Você sabe quem era a mulher que estava comigo no motel. Era você!
- Pois é. Maldita hora em que eu aceitei ir.
Discretíssimu's! Toda a cidade ficou sabendo. Ainda bem que não me
identificaram.
- Pois então?
- Pois então, que eu tenho que deixar você. Não vê?
É o que todas as minhas amigas esperam que eu faça. Não sou mulher de ser
enganada pelo marido e não reagir.
- Mas você não foi enganada. Quem estava comigo era você!
- Mas elas não sabem disso!
- Eu não acredito, Lurdes! Você vai desmanchar nosso casamento por isso? Por
uma convenção?
- Vou!
Mais tarde, quando a Lurdes estava saindo de casa, com as malas, o Carlos
Alberto a interceptou.
Estava sombrio:
- Acabo de receber um telefonema - disse..
- Era o Dico.
- O que ele queria?
- Fez mil rodeios, mas acabou me contando. Disse que, como meu amigo, tinha
que contar.
- O quê?
- Você foi vista saindo do motel Discretíssimu's ontem, com um homem.
- Mas o homem era você!
- Eu sei, mas eu não fui identificado.
- Você não disse que era você?
- O que? Para que os meus amigos pensem que eu vou a motel com a minha
própria mulher?
- E então?
- Desculpe, Lurdes, mas...
- Mas o quê?
- Vou ter que te dar uma surra...

*****

The Motel

Mirtes couldn’t take it anymore, so she told Lourdes:

“Your husband was seen going into a motel…”

Lourdes opened her mouth & eyes wide. She remained this way, like a scared statue, for a minute and a half.

Then asked for details.

“When? Where? With who?”

“Last night. At Discreetest’s”

“With who? With who?”

“Oh I don’t know.”

“But how was she? Tall? Thin? Blonde? Limping?”

“I don’t know, Lou.”

“Carlos-Alberto will pay for this. Ohh, yes he will.”


When Carlos-Alberto got home Lourdes announced she was leaving him and told him why.

“But what is this now, Lourdes? You know who I was with in the motel. It was you!”

“Quite! I can’t believe I agreed to it. ‘Discreetest'! Huh! The whole town now knows about it. Thank God no one identified me.”

“Well then!”

“Well then? Now I have to leave you. Don’t you see? It’s what all my friends expect me to do. I’m not the kind of woman who will accept being fooled by her husband without reacting appropriately.”

“But you weren’t fooled! I was with YOU!”

“But they don’t know that!”

“I can’t believe this Lourdes! You’ll end our marriage because of this? A convention?”

“I will!”


Later, as Lourdes was leaving with her suitcases, Carlos-Alberto intercepted her.

He was gloomy.

“I just got off the phone,” he said. “It was Dico.”

“What did he want?”

“After beating around the bush for a while, he ended up telling me. He said that because he was my friend, he had to tell me.”

“What?”

“That you were seen leaving Discreetest’s last night, with a man.”

“But you were the man!”

“I know, but I wasn’t identified.”

“You didn’t say it was you?”

“What? So my friends will know I go to motels with my own wife?”

“Well then??”

“I’m sorry, Lourdes, but…”

“But what?”

“I’ll have to give you a beating…”


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

T.S. Eliot

Whispers of Immortality

Webster was much possessed by death
And saw the skull beneath the skin;
And breastless creatures under ground
Leaned backward with a lipless grin.
Daffodil bulbs instead of balls
Stared from the sockets of the eyes!
He knew that thought clings round dead limbs
Tightening its lusts and luxuries.
Donne, I suppose, was such another
Who found no substitute for sense,
To seize and clutch and penetrate;
Expert beyond experience,
He knew the anguish of the marrow
The ague of the skeleton;
No contact possible to flesh
Allayed the fever of the bone.
. . . . .
Grishkin is nice: her Russian eye
Is underlined for emphasis;
Uncorseted, her friendly bust
Gives promise of pneumatic bliss.
The couched Brazilian jaguar
Compels the scampering marmoset
With subtle effluence of cat;
Grishkin has a maisonette;
The sleek Brazilian jaguar
Does not in its arboreal gloom
Distil so rank a feline smell
As Grishkin in a drawing-room.
And even the Abstract Entities
Circumambulate her charm;
But our lot crawls between dry ribs
To keep our metaphysics warm.



Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Stranger: "The Dude abides... I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that; it's good knowin' he's out there, The Duuuude, takin' her easy for all us sinners..." The Big Lebowski



"A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires."

Friday, January 7, 2011

Perception vs. Reality

Has modern science become the new religion?

House of Numbers



The entire documentary is available on DailyMotion

Thursday, January 6, 2011

etc...(cont'd)

Speaking of "Ophiophagus hannah" (see below):

O Pha Ophey OPHIN OrPhan O! Phun!

I smell the blood of a hannah.



um. right. yes, chappy, and all. I believe certain things ought to be a bit, you know, lighter, so tos peak, asi twere, ina mann erov spee king.

::::Hugh Grant dies, asphixiated in his own ignominious uh...y'know...phlegm.

(No pic necessary. Conditions may apply.)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

One of the best feelings in the world is going to sleep knowing something one didn't know the day before.

Tonight it will happen to me.

This is what I learned:

- .... . -.- .. -. --. -.-. --- -... .-. .-' ... ... -.-. .. . -. - .. ..-. .. -.-. -. .- -- . .. ...

--- .--. .... .. --- .--. .- --. ..- ... .... .- -. -. .- .... !!!


Or:

"The King Cobra's Scientific Name is Ophiophagus hannah."

(Thanks to Anonymous!)

Oh this seems so much like cheating doesn't it?!

But it isn't, because, rilly, an actual person figured it out.

And what is the difference between that and my just disclosing it, you might ask?

Well, lots!

a) someone bothered;
b) uh... someone other than me gave away the right answer on the blog first, and;
c) I forgot what "c)" was going to be, but it was important.

That said, I um, should like to thank all my fans and my uh, producer for such an astonishing... turn of events? (<"STFU!!!!">)

Or something.

Thanks.

love,

Bel

xxx
(or, as we say it in Arab numerals, 30)



OK.